I've always wanted to help others ever since I could remember, I just didn't know how. I worked many jobs coming up and ended up growing up pretty fast. As a child, my father always reminded me that I was the special one, but every parent believes their child is a star. Even though I had a swift childhood, I spent plenty of time learning great lessons that hold a ton of weight in my decision-making.
I am grateful for them all.
As a young girl, I lived with my grandfather, but he was no ordinary grandfather indeed. He was absolutely a great father figure. This was the one man who loved me more than anything I’ve ever felt from anywhere or anyone. I used to think life wasn’t anything. That I was here to live for him and my mother. I never understood why I was so angry with my life until I made myself understand that life was going to happen the way I wanted it to go. Whatever I wanted to happen to me was based on the actions I set forth for myself. I worked very long hours to create myself into the woman I am today. They never really tell you that no one wants to hear the real things you’re going through, but they show you.
Think about it.
When someone says hello and asks you ‘How are you’, they expect your natural response to be ‘good’. This is because we are conditioned over time to not worry about the interior of each other. We have so much social media telling us what we should be and to be happy all the time that we don’t have the knowledge to dig into our unconscious mind to understand why we are sad most of the time. This is something I wish I had learned earlier. I spent so much time sitting in the background that I found it best to not be seen or heard. It took me a very long time to want to be seen. This stemmed from my wanting to fit in when I was growing up but never knowing that I was made to stand out. I like to refer to myself as the ‘Golden child’, of my family. I didn’t have a blueprint or a go-to person when I first started to work on my career. I had to keep going and fight for all the information and knowledge that I have today.
It’s no secret that I come from the ‘ghettos’ better known as the ‘hood’. Being a small-town girl who had big dreams and the guts to chase them. From being in a situation of house hopping for two years with my first book on notebook paper, it was the only thing I had to hold on to. It took me many years to gain enough courage to be able to stand up for my work and the real goals I wanted to complete. Many of my old friends laughed at the fact that I wanted to write books and saw it as a ‘nerdy’ thing to do. But I have always wanted to write since I was a child. I never knew the reason why; however, I know that God granted me this gift to be able to write stories and an imagination to rely on.
As I dive deeper into my women empowerment self-help journal, ‘Get a grip will ya’ You Matter, I turned to supernatural fiction television shows and movies to be my father figure, brother figures, etc. to bring me that peace and loyalty I always wanted from family members in my life. I wanted it so badly that I searched for it out in the streets to end up only receiving the backend of broken love that was unattainable from the people I thought I was getting it from. No one could ever give me the love I could only give myself. I realized this by forcing myself to suffer through the pain of being alone.
After God assisted me through the lions, tigers, and bears I shaped myself by taking the harsh lessons of reality and using it for fuel to build a better me. Understanding that ‘pain’ was the best lesson in life. You don’t really suffer it but you gain insight, closure within, most importantly clarity. The first step I took was changing my surroundings. The people whom I once associated myself with did not have my best interest at heart. Of course, everyone is on their own path of self-discovery, despite that I found it a better benefit in life to find my ‘tribe’ of people. This did not mean my old friends were ‘monsters’ or ‘bad people’, no, it only meant our mindsets weren’t the same. Once I associated myself with a different kind of crowd the atmosphere wasn’t too far behind. I officially made my mind up to put a pause on settling for less than I deserve. I began to use the power of networking to discover what I wanted. I worked hard for everything that I ever obtained, and it was time to reap the ‘benefits of my labor’. So, I thought. After attending so many Life coaching courses, and fighting for a last-minute spot in business school. I pondered to myself a pond of guilt. The kind where you punish yourself with more work after accomplishing a major goal or piling a ton of extra weight from pleasing the world before yourself on your shoulders to attain a certain image.
But then you ask yourself the most important question… why? Why did you take all of these steps, and the answers didn’t fall right into your lap? Why did you choose to take the more difficult way to complete these goals by researching all the information you need, asking questions, and building up a business by networking? Where was the golden hand? The loud voice screamed out ‘You’ve won!’ Where was my million dollars? My newborn life? Freedom? I cried, and I got depressed and I wondered why.
Somewhere down the lonely road, I realized a more important factor that meant more than any of the fairytale aspects I cooked up inside of my small head. ‘Everything was going to happen exactly when it was supposed to happen!’ The moment I realized prayer outweighed any stress mixed with depression going on in my life I sat back and contemplated my ‘why?’ Two words… self-help; I craved the knowledge from others who did it before to help MYSELF! I then wanted to spread my light to anyone I could to gain the same knowledge I received. I’ve always had a cheerful spirit for writing which led me to the wisdom God blessed me with. He wants me to respectfully gather his children in unity with my precious light to stick together rather than battling each other. With my Life coaching skills, I mentor my clients to be themselves always to establish a secure plan. Now I am the first person to fully understand that nothing is secure and you will always have to keep going through the obstacles life throws at you no matter what.
However, a goal without a plan is just a dream, and the dreamers always push forward to conquer their goals no matter what life throws their way. This is how I want to spend the rest of my life. Not worrying about the ‘what, ‘when, or ‘how?’ But to help others the best way I can the way Jehovah wants me to. This is how I choose to remain in happiness.
Jasmine Tilman was born and raised in Toledo, Ohio on November 18th, 1998, born and raised in Toledo, Ohio. She is a 3 times bestselling author, personal development/writing coach, transformational speaker, ghostwriter, one of the top 33 inspirational women internationally, and winner of the Presidential Lifetime Achievement Obama Gold Award.
Thank you, Jasmine, for sharing your story!